I am alone. I was ashamed.

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[15 Feb 2010|08:29pm]
Never mind. it's not worth it.

[10 Feb 2010|01:32pm]
I can't wait to move to another state.
I really do hate the people that live here.

The only people I actually talk to are people I work with.
It's sad, really.
All my "friends" are idiots.
I'm there for one of them because she alllllwwaays fucks up her life somehow and I'm the one that's there to make her feel better.
Well no more.
Another one just twist and turns every fucking thing I say so I have to explain every f'n word I say so she doesn't hate me.
Well, I no longer care. So she currently.. and forever hates me. && I don't give two shits.

It just gets so fucking old.
I mean it when I say I hate the people here.
Once I get my LPN I'm out of here!
I would say I'm never looking back.. but my parents && other family are still here and I love them to death.
Other than that, I don't care for anyone here in Ohio.
I need you now

[05 Feb 2010|06:36pm]
Just paid off one credit card..
buuut I still own 1100 on my other one.

fuck you school.

I realllllly hope Wia appoves me and pays for me to get my LPN.
That would be AMAZING.
I need you now

[03 Feb 2010|11:15pm]
Medical terminology is kicking my ass and I've only been in two classes, and I have well over a month of this to go. fuck.

I'm meeting with John for dinner tomorrow.
Basically so I can tell him I am forcing him to move to Alabama with me after I'm done with school. hah.

There's this program that pays for your schooling.
&& they were out of fundings last time I was there..
&& some girl in my class told me that they have funding now.
annnnd I'm super stoked about that. I hope that they can get me in. It will be soooo much easier for me.
I'm going to call them on my break tomorrrow.
I need you now

[28 Jan 2010|04:55pm]
Just found out that I passed my test!
I am offically a STNA.
Definitely stoked about that one.

&& I start my medical terminology class Monday.
....not so stoked about that.
But at least I'll be done and ready to start nursing school in May. =D

Ohhh && I've decided that once I turn 21 I'm going to go to a fertility clinic and donate one of my eggs.
They pay anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000 per egg.
It's just like adoption. A family picks you from your picture and medical background and then you donate your egg to them.
I have brown hair and blue eyes.. so I'm sure someone will pick me based upon that. I'm "normal" when it comes to looks.
The only downfall is that my mother has diabetes.
But I guess we'll see in 7 months. Because I'm definitely going to try to.
I need you now

[27 Jan 2010|06:45pm]
and of course..
like with everything else in my life..
i am let down.

he's not coming this weekend.
he says he has a 9 page paper to write.. which i do understand since i went to miami for two years.. and college does suck.

buuuut i bet he'll be out drinking this weekend.. which will piss me off.
cause then what would be the difference of coming to see me?

oh well.
i tried.
&& now i am done trying.
I need you now

[26 Jan 2010|07:57pm]
I'm sware I'm always sick.
I have a damn cold currently.
&& I just got over the damn flu a few weeks ago. Jesus.

I'm off work tomorrow, though. THANK GOD.
I need to call and set an appointment to get my taxes done tomorrow & also call about getting car insurance.
I have some right now.. but my I'm on my mom's plan and I'm too worried to get a ticket or something and make her price go up.

I hope I feel a lot better tomorrow.
Especially by Friday. =]
I need you now

[24 Jan 2010|06:02pm]
i just get over the damn flu and now i have a cold.

i wish i wasn't always sick. ugh.

i just want to get really drunk and forget that i feel bad. lol.

i can't wait until friday! =]
I need you now

[22 Jan 2010|10:07pm]
[ mood | good!!! ]

my test is in the morning. ahhh. i hope i pass.

i start med term the first of feb.
stupid class is for two and half months! that's forever.
as soon as i'm done with it i go straight into nursing school.
i can't wait to have my LPN!!!!

i also can't wait for next weekend!
he's coming back to ohio to see me. =D

welllll. i think i'm going to hop in the shower then study for another hour or so before sleeping.
my test is at 7:30. ugh.

You're 3 days late | I need you now

[20 Jan 2010|01:17pm]
i'm sooo tired.
even though I slept over 12 hours last night.

I don't know what my problem is.
It's like I can't get enough sleep lately. Like I'm barely making it to work on time because I seriously can't wake up.

I have to be at school at four today to practice for my test Saturday.
I'm soooo nervous.
Doing this in from of someone I don't know worries me.
&& the fact that I paid 700 bucks for this doesn't help either.

I need to wake up. ugh.
You're 2 days late | I need you now

[17 Jan 2010|08:55pm]

i look 12. lol.
You're 2 days late | I need you now

[16 Jan 2010|07:03pm]
and now we hardly talk.

this sucks.
I need you now

[13 Jan 2010|03:44pm]
Sooo I don't want to jinx anything right now.

Buuut I really hope this works out.
It puts a smile on my face.
I need you now

[01 Jan 2010|05:51pm]
i haven't updated in a looong time.

shit's still the same.

working my ass off at work.
still single.
still slowly going broke from all my bills.

kindasorta "quit" smoking.
[when i drink i still have a weakness for them]

samantha's coming to pick me up soon so i can see her new place and her little man.
I need you now

FEED A CHILD [22 Dec 2009|11:39pm]
instead of giving you "just pennies a day" to feed a starving child across the world...

...why don't we take up donations to get all the fucking woman over there fixed.

if you can't feed your children, do not breed them.
keep your dick to yourself and your legs closed.

honestly fixing them to where they cannot have children is better than them having more children to be starving.

You're 2 days late | I need you now

QUESTION [20 Dec 2009|08:48pm]

okay, so I have this best friend.
whhhooo has a 5 month old BABY.

i do not agree with having the baby around when you drink with people or at a party with a lot of people.
i think it's really unsafe and completelyyyy trashy.

I also think that's a complete mood killer.
i mean there's this baby to worry about
and then once you pass out you're going to be woke up every two hours by it screaming.

when i tell them i don't want to drink with they baby around everyone thinks of crazy
and doesn't see the big deal in it.

am i just weird?!
You're 2 days late | I need you now

[16 Dec 2009|09:32pm]
I got a lot of my xmas shopping done.
&& finished my STNA class today.
Now I just have to actually take the state test in January.

I hate liars.
I really do.
Anyone that knows me knows that I will tell you like it is.
I would appreciate it if you'd do the same.
Don't come up with laaaame ass lies. I completely content with the truth.

I'm off work until Monday. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

I can't seem to shake how lonely I've been feeling.Bleeh.
I need you now

[14 Dec 2009|09:17pm]
I have clinicals the next two days.
That's going to fucking suck.

I have the flu too.
I've been out for a week out.
They even sent me home from work Sunday.
Then I slept all day. It was terrible. I felt like shit.

I still don't feel too well.
My head is still pounding and my throat is verry sore.
It's only a little after 9, but I'm considering showering and going to bed.
Maybe I'll feel better for clinicals tomorrow.

I think I'm going to start putting in apps here soon for another job.
I really need to meet people.
I'm also considering Hustler (an adult store) I'm bound to meet people there.
I don't only want a boyfriend, it would be nice to meet new friends too. =]
You're 3 days late | I need you now

[09 Dec 2009|07:37pm]
Only one more week of school.

I just want to sleep.
&& I really want to cuddle.
You're 1 days late | I need you now

[07 Dec 2009|10:36pm]
i swear.
everytime i get over bud, he comes back.
i tried my damnest to not talk to him and therefore get over him.
then steve says something to him about drinking with scotty and i, then he goes on about how for some reason that makes him jealous.
&& how he's told me once he was never going to stop loving me, and he truly hasn't.

which of course makes my feelings come back.

i really want to live on the gulf.
it's sooo beautiful there. i love it.
i just want to be at the end of the pier right now.
insteeeaadd i'm fucking stuck in ohio with snow.

it fucking took me a hour and a half to get to school this morning.
it usually takes 30 minutes tops.

fuck you snow!
I need you now

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